Estate Planning

Create a Special Needs Trust to Protect the Financial Future of Your Child with Special Needs

It always surprises me to hear parents who have a child with special needs tell me that they were not aware of what they needed to do to ensure the future well-being and care of their child is properly handled. Or sometimes, they tell me they didn’t know they needed to do anything at all.

If that’s you, and you have a child with special needs at home, this article is for you. And if you have friends or family who have a child with special needs, please share this article with them.

Every parent who has a child with special needs must understand what’s needed to provide for the emotional, physical, and financial needs of their child, if and when something happens to them. 

Naming Guardians

Of course, the first and most critical step in ensuring the well-being and care of your child with special needs’ future is to name both short and long-term legal guardians to take custody of and care of your child, in the event of your death or incapacity. And as you well know, this responsibility doesn’t end at age 18, if your child will not grow into an adult who can independently care for him or herself.

While we understand this lifetime responsibility probably feels overwhelming, we’ve been told repeatedly by parents that naming legal guardians in writing and knowing their child will be cared for in the way they want, by the people they want, creates immense relief.

We frequently build in plans where the named guardians are properly instructed—and even incentivized—to give your child the same care you provide. For example, we’ve created plans whereby the named guardian is compensated for taking the child to dinner and the movies weekly, or doing something similar if this is something the child used to enjoy doing with his or her parents.

But without written instructions (and perhaps compensation) built into the plan, fun activities like this can often go by the wayside when you’re no longer available. For guidance on selecting legal guardians and properly instructing them to provide your child with special needs the same level of care and attention you do, consult with us as your Personal Family Lawyer®.

Beyond naming a guardian, you’ll  also need to provide financial resources to allow your child to live out his or her life in the manner you desire. This is where things can get tricky for children with special needs. In fact, it may seem like a “Catch-22” situation. You want to leave your child enough money to afford the support they need to live a comfortable life. Yet, if you leave money directly to a person with special needs, you risk disqualifying him or her for government benefits.

Special Needs Trusts

Fortunately, the government allows assets to be held in what’s known as a “special needs trust” to provide supplemental financial resources for a physically, mentally, or developmentally disabled child without affecting his or her eligibility for public healthcare and income assistance benefits.

However, the rules for such trusts are complicated and can vary greatly between different states, so you should work with us as your Personal Family Lawyer® in order to create a comprehensive special needs trust that’s properly structured and appropriate for your child’s specific situation.

Setting Up The Trust

Funds from a special needs trust cannot be distributed directly to a beneficiary and must be disbursed to a third-party who’s responsible for administering the trust. Given this, when you initially set up the trust, you’ll likely be both the “grantor” (trust creator) and “trustee” (the person responsible for managing the trust), and your child with special needs is the trust’s “beneficiary.”

You’ll then name the person you want responsible for administering the trust’s funds once you’re no longer able to as “successor trustee.” To avoid conflicts of interest, overburdening the named guardian with too much responsibility, and provide checks and balances, it can sometimes be best to name someone other than your child’s guardian as trustee.

As the parent, you serve as the trustee until you die or become incapacitated, at which time the successor trustee takes over. Each person who serves as trustee is legally required to follow the trust’s terms and use its funds and property for the benefit of the individual with special needs.

And in all cases, you should name a series of successor trustees, which can even be a bank, trust company, or other professional fiduciary, as backups to your primary named trustee.

Placing Money and Property Into A Special Needs Trust

There are two ways to set up a special needs trust. In one situation, we build it into your revocable living trust, and it will arise, or spring up, upon your death. From there, assets that are held in your revocable living trust will be used to fund your child’s special needs trust.

In other cases, we can set up a special needs trust that acts as a vehicle for receiving and holding assets for your child now. This makes sense if you have parents or other relatives who want to give your child with special needs gifts sooner rather than later.

We’ll be dedicating a future article on the available estate planning options you can use to pass money to a special needs trust. Until then, consult with us as your Personal Family Lawyer® if you need guidance on the planning vehicles that are best suited for this purpose.

The Trustee's Responsibilities

Once the trust is funded, it’s the trustee’s job to use its funds to support the beneficiary without jeopardizing eligibility for government benefits. To handle this properly, the trustee must have a thorough understanding of how eligibility for such benefits works and stay current with the law.  The trustee is also required to pay the beneficiary’s taxes, keep detailed records, invest trust property, and stay current with the beneficiary’s needs.

Given this huge responsibility, it’s often best that you name a legal or financial professional who’s familiar with the complexities of the law as trustee or co-trustee, so they can properly handle the duties and not jeopardize eligibility.

If you need help creating a special needs trust for your child, contact us. We can develop a sustainable living plan for your child with special needs that will provide her or him with the financial means they need to live a full life, while preserving their access to government benefits. Contact us today to get started.

We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That's why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session, ™ during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before, and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $750 session at no charge. Schedule online today.

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Estate Planning

6 Steps to Select and Name the Right Guardians for Your Children–Part 2

Learn the 6 steps to select and how to name a guardian for your children. One of your most important responsibilities as a parent is to select and legally document guardians for your children. It means consciously deciding who would raise your children if you cannot. Last week, we shared the first part of our series on selecting and naming the right guardians for your children. If you haven’t read it yet, you can do so here.

Here in part two, we discuss the final three steps in the process.

4. Narrow candidate list, and rank your choices

When you’ve come up with all of the potential candidates for guardian, narrow down the list to your top five people. There’s no guarantee that your ideal candidate(s) will be willing to serve as guardian, so having more than one or two is a practical necessity.

To aide in this process, you should consider things, such as who really loves your children and who do your kids really get along with? Will this person be physically, mentally, and emotionally able to raise your kids to adulthood? The most important thing is to choose SOMEONE, even if you aren’t 100% sure about them, since you can always select a new guardian later.

Then rank your choices from top choice down to last. Again, backups are critical in case your first choice cannot serve.

5. Sit down with top candidates and discuss what's involved

When it comes to asking someone to be your child’s guardian, you need to provide crystal-clear guidance about what’s involved. The discussion should cover all of your expectations about how you want your kids raised. Speak openly about finances, discipline, education, spirituality, and any needs that are unique to your children.

Once the discussion is complete, give them a few days to carefully consider the choice, even if they seem immediately gung-ho about doing it. Depending on the age of your kids, this could be a more than decade-long commitment. If they don’t carefully think it over, the responsibility can easily turn into resentment.

6. Legally document your plan

It’s essential to legally document your choice as soon as possible. Verbal commitments mean nothing in the eyes of the law. This is especially true when you name a friend over a family member.

For a quick and easy way to legally document your plan, visit our free website shown below. The entire process takes only 15-20 minutes, so you can immediately get this urgent matter taken care of.

⇒ Visit our website to go through these steps and create legal documents naming guardians for the long-term care of your children, absolutely free.

After you’ve used our website to name your legal guardians, you can then work with us to create a more comprehensive plan that includes all of the necessary legal documents to ensure the well-being of your children and the assets you’re leaving behind, no matter what happens.

You’ll have a trusted advisor who can help you navigate all of the legal, insurance, financial, and tax issues involved with estate planning. Indeed, we can put a plan in place that not only protects and provides for your children, but your entire family. Schedule Online.


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Estate Planning

6 Steps to Select and Name the Right Guardians for Your Children (Part 1)

Learn the 6 steps to select and how to name a guardian for your children. One of your most important responsibilities as a parent is to select and legally document guardians for your children. This doesn’t mean just naming godparents or trusting the grandparents will step in if necessary. It means consciously deciding who would raise your children if you cannot. And then it means legally documenting your choices and making sure the people you’ve chosen know what to do if they’re ever called upon. 

However, most people have no idea how to even start this process, much less create a legally binding plan. Because of this, many parents simply never get around to doing it. And those who do often make one of several common mistakes—even if they’ve worked with a lawyer.

Why? Because most lawyers haven’t been trained properly to help parents with this vital issue.

As a result, unless you’ve worked with us or another trained Personal Family Lawyer®, it’s likely your children are extremely vulnerable to being taken out of your home and placed in the care of strangers. This might be temporary, while the authorities figure out what to do, or they could end up being raised to adulthood by someone you’d never choose.

Even if you don’t have any minor children at home, please consider sharing this article with any friends or family who do—it’s that important. While it’s rare for something to happen to both parents of a minor child, it does occur, and the consequences are simply too severe to not take a few simple steps to select and legally name guardians the right way.

To help with this process, we’ve outlined some basic steps to select and name a legal guardian. Regardless of whether you own any other assets or wealth, it’s vital to complete this process immediately, so you know that who you care about most—your kids—will be cared for the way you want, no matter what.

⇒ We’ve even created an easy-to-use website, where you can go through these steps to create legal documents naming guardians for the long-term care of your children, absolutely free.

How To Name A Guardian

1. Define you ideal candidate

The first step in selecting a guardian is to come up with a list outlining the qualities and attributes you and your partner value most when it comes to the long-term care of your children. The list can mirror your own parenting philosophy and style, as well as list the qualities that would make up your absolute “dream” guardian.

In addition to qualities like parental values, discipline style, religious/spiritual background, kindness, and honesty, you also need to consider more practical matters. Is the person young enough and physically capable of raising your kids to adulthood? Do they have a family of their own, and if so, would adding your kids to the mix be too much?

Geography should also come into play—do they live nearby, and if not, would it be a major hardship to relocate your children? Is their home in a location you would feel comfortable having your kids grow up in?

One thing you may think you should consider is financial stability, and that’s a frequent misconception. However, the people you name as legal guardians for your children are the people making decisions for their healthcare and their education, but they don’t need to be the ones managing your children’s financial needs.

Ideally, you’ll leave behind ample financial resources for your children and the people raising them. You can do this by establishing a trust for those resources and naming a financial guardian, or trustee, to oversee them. Please contact us for help with that, as there are many options to consider.

2. Make a list of candidates

Based on those parenting qualities, start compiling a list of people in your life who match your ideals. Be sure to consider not only family, but also close friends.

Though you may feel obligated to choose a family member, this decision is about what’s best for your children’s future, not trying to protect someone’s feelings. And if you’re having trouble coming up with enough suitable candidates, try coming up with people who you would definitely NOT want as guardians, and work backwards from there.

Or consider the person a judge would likely select if you didn’t make your own choice and whether there are any other people you’d prefer to raise your children.

3. Select first responders (temporary guardians)

In addition to legally naming long-term guardians, you also need to choose someone in your local area to be a “first responder,” or temporary guardian. This is someone who lives near you and who’s willing to immediately go to your children during a time of crisis and take care of them until the long-term guardian is notified and appointed by the court pursuant to your long-term guardianship nomination.

If your children are in the care of someone like a babysitter without legal authority to have custody of them, the police will have no choice but to call Child Protective Services and take your children into the care of the authorities. From there, you children could be placed in the care of strangers until your named long-term guardian shows up, or until the court decides on an appropriate guardian.


This is an area where plans that only name a legal guardian through a Will typically fail. Beyond naming just a long-term guardian, you need a short-term, temporary guardian who’s named as the first responder and knows exactly what to do if something happens to you.

Once you’ve chosen your long-term guardian, it’s imperative that all temporary caretakers know exactly how to contact them. This precaution is not just about your death—it also covers your incapacity and any other situation when you’re unable to return home for a lengthy period of time.

Next week, we’ll continue with part two in this series on selecting and naming the right guardians for your kids.

We don’t just draft documents – we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love.  That's why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session,™ during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before, and make all the best choices for the people you love.  You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session. Schedule online.

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Estate Planning

How and When to Talk to Your Children About Money

Whether you consider yourself wealthy or not, you need to think about how (and when) you’ll talk with your children about money, whether they’re little kids, tweens, teens, or already adults.

The Wall Street Journal article “The Best Way for Wealthy Parents to Talk to Children About Family Money” offers guidelines for how and when “the money talk” should take place. Based on interviews with multiple financial experts, the article suggests these discussions should happen in three stages during the child’s lifetime. 

Here, we’re showing you how each of these three stages apply to your family wealth as a whole, regardless of how much—or how little—money you have at the moment:


Tweens and teens

The tween years (ages 10-12) are a good time to start talking with your children about your family wealth. At this age, the discussion should be aimed at letting your children know that family wealth is not just the amount of money that your family has, but involves all of the family resources.

Time, energy, attention, and money (TEAM) are the resources that make up your family wealth. With this in mind, use one day over a coming weekend to create a Family Wealth Inventory with your tween or teen children. Inventory all of the family’s TEAM resources, along with other intangibles, such as values, insights, as well as stories and experiences you want considered as part of the Family Wealth bank.

This is an ideal time to tell them the family story, talking about how you and their other relatives worked your way to the family wealth you have now, how decisions have been made from one generation to the next regarding family wealth, and how you hope decisions will be made in the future.

Around ages 10 to 12, you can also start talking to your children about the fact that one day you won’t be here, your intentions surrounding what you plan to pass on to them (beyond just money) and how you plan to pass it on, as well as what they choose to do with the inheritance they’re receiving.

 Again, the inheritance they’re receiving is not just the money you’re leaving—it also involves your family genetics, epigenetics, values, ancestry, connections, knowledge, and much more.

In Their 20s

If you haven’t yet begun talking to your children about your family wealth, you should start now. And if you’ve already begun the conversations, make sure to continue talking to them during this important stage of their life.

Once they’ve moved out of the home, they need to begin thinking about their own family wealth, including setting up their own legal documents, so if something happens to them, you won’t get stuck in court or conflict. They also need to know whether you plan to offer them financial assistance during their lifetime, along with what the parameters of this assistance are and why you’ve set things up this way.

Additionally, this is an ideal time to start discussing your own plans for retirement and whether or not you’ll need any financial support from them later on in their life.

If you haven’t already shared your estate plan with your children—including where to find it, why you’ve made the decisions you’ve made, and introduced them to your family lawyer—this is the time to do that as well.

In their 30s and 40s

By their 30s, your children should be ready to be fully involved in your family wealth. This would be the perfect time to have a family meeting facilitated by us, if you haven’t done so already.

You can kick-start the talk by reading from a letter you’ve written that outlines the hopes you have for your family wealth, both now and in the future. Since you’ll likely be nearing or in retirement at this stage, it’s important that you eventually discuss the actual value of the family’s wealth and detail your wishes about passing it on. At this age, you never know how much time you have left to prepare your children to effectively manage the money you’ve spent your entire life accumulating.

By now, you definitely want your children to know if they should plan to provide financial support for you. At the same time, you may want to start looking at how you can pass on what you do have during your lifetime, instead of waiting until death, so you can invest in creating more family wealth with your children together.

We can not only help facilitate these discussions, we can also provide estate planning strategies to help your children become creators of more family wealth, instead of people who you might be afraid will squander what you’ve created. Indeed, we can help you set up structures that incentivize them to invest and grow their inheritance, rather than waste it. Contact us today to learn more.

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Estate Planning

3 Key Benefits of Conscious Uncoupling

The concept of conscious uncoupling, or conscious divorce, has been around for decades in the psychotherapy community. However, the actual term “conscious uncoupling” was thrust into the mainstream lexicon in 2014, when Gwyneth Paltrow used it to publicly announce that she and husband Chris Martin were separating. Today, we'll discuss the 3 key benefits of conscious uncoupling.

Since then, the term has been used extensively to describe what was previously called “amicable divorce” or “uncontested divorce.” In 2016, relationship expert Katherine Woodward Thomas wrote the book Conscious Uncoupling, and she now offers a five-week program of therapy designed to help individuals make a more healthy transition from marriage to singlehood.

While there’s no precise definition of conscious uncoupling, according to Thomas, it basically involves reframing divorce from a traumatic experience into one that focuses on the positive opportunities a split offers for personal growth and spiritual development. The goal is to end the relationship in a truly cooperative and respectful manner, which can have tremendous benefits for both the couple and their children.

It’s important to note that conscious uncoupling has no legal effect on the marriage. Rather, it’s about maintaining a positive mindset that seeks to mitigate the often terrible effects divorce can have on our emotions, family, and finances.

In order to actually terminate the marriage and resolve all of the legal consequences that this entails, couples must still undergo a divorce. This is one reason we often use the term “conscious divorce,” instead of conscious uncoupling.

Based on numerous reports from therapists and couples, we’ve laid out the primary benefits conscious divorce offers those seeking a more compassionate and mindful way to end their relationship:

1. Focus on the positives

Though it may seem like New Age hyperbole to reframe divorce from a traumatic experience to one that’s ultimately positive, the process of adjusting one’s perspective like this can be extraordinarily powerful. In fact, therapists who work with people at the end of life often report their patients wish they’d dissolved past relationships more amicably instead of focusing so much on the blame and pain involved.

Indeed, one of the goals of conscious divorce is to move away from the “blame game” model to one that acknowledges that romantic relationships often end for a variety of reasons, not necessarily because it was anyone’s failure or fault. Like all changes in life, the best way to deal with divorce is to accept the loss of the relationship as a simple part of life’s natural roller-coaster ride of ups and downs.

The challenge is to focus on all of the things you’ve gained through the relationship, rather than what you’re losing. You’ve undoubtedly shared some amazing times and learned a great deal from being married, and by focusing on these aspects, you can not only experience less trauma, but also be better prepared to move into your new life beyond the relationship.

2. Puts the children first

While conscious divorce seeks to minimize the pain and hostility for the couple, the most important reason behind such a mindset is to protect your children. Make your kids the motivating factor for keeping the breakup as amicable as possible.

When you’re tempted to keep arguing, choose your kids over being right. Don’t fight in front of your children, and never talk negatively about your spouse with them. No matter what happens, you will always be a family, so keep this in mind when making your decisions.

By doing this, your children are far less likely to be seriously damaged by the divorce, and it will set the stage for everyone to move on to the next chapter in their lives in a healthier manner.

3. Avoids a contentious court battle

Anyone who’s witnessed a seriously contentious divorce proceeding can attest that such public battles should be a true last resort. Not only do these courtroom dramas take a toll on a family’s mental health, but they also can drag on for months or even years, unnecessarily draining bank accounts and corrupting the marital estate.

Conscious divorce, on the other hand, can not only dramatically minimize the time, cost, and emotional toll of divorce, it lays the groundwork for the new non-traditional family to interact and function once the court proceedings are over. This is a huge benefit for establishing a healthy co-parenting relationship, and showing both your children and yourselves that marriage can still be “successful” even if it ends in divorce.

We can help you navigate the more contentious aspects of divorce in a “conscious” way by supporting you to find the right counsel to guide you. And, of course, we’ll also help you restructure your assets properly after your divorce. If you’d like to end your marriage in a more positive manner, while ensuring that your children suffer as little trauma as possible, contact us today.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to get started. If you already have a plan in place, we can review and update it to avoid similar conflicts. Schedule online today.

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Estate Planning

The Real Planned Parenthood: Platonic Parenting

Divorce can be one of the most unpleasant—and often traumatic—experiences of your life, especially if you have children. It can be even more distressing for the kids themselves. In many cases, a divorce can severely affect a child’s emotional well-being, and in extreme cases, even tear apart a parent’s personal relationship with their offspring. So, what is platonic parenting?

In light of these hardships, a new movement is sweeping the country, known as “platonic parenting.” The arrangement typically involves spouses who refrain from divorce—or get divorced but stay closely connected (even cohabitating)—in order to more effectively raise their children and reduce trauma. The couple remains highly amicable and cooperative, but ceases any romantic connection or commitment.

This isn’t about “staying together for the kids,” where couples remain unhappily married solely for the children’s sake—and which is often just as traumatic as divorce.

Platonic parenting was pioneered within the LGBTQ community, since until recently same-sex couples couldn’t legally marry, and thus were forced to create outside-the-box parenting arrangements following a romantic split. Today, many people of all genders and sexual orientation are entering into these relationships, and some believe this style of co-parenting can be just as healthy as those raised in happily married households.

Obviously, Platonic Parenting is no panacea, and the arrangement requires intense levels of trust, communication, and planning. The first step of the new partnership is for both parties to come up with a firm agreement around their financial commitments and living situation.

Other things to work out include how to handle new romantic relationships, if/how to incorporate the platonic partner into family gatherings, along with all manner of other basic ground rules. Then you must plan how you’ll discuss this with your kids and other family members, so everyone clearly understands exactly what this new life will entail.

Platonic parenting isn’t just limited to married or otherwise romantically involved couples: Numerous people of all genders and orientations are entering into such relationships.

For example, a heterosexual woman may partner with a gay man to provide a father (literally and/or figuratively) for her kids. Or maybe it’s two longtime friends of any gender combination, who are interested in starting a family but haven’t found a suitable romantic partner. There are even cases where the arrangement involves three or more platonic parents, who tag team, if you will, the immense responsibility of raising children.

With so many important agreements to be made, all parties involved are advised to seek legal counsel before creating such an arrangement. We specialize in helping you navigate these types of non-traditional partnerships. Whether you’re seeking advice on planning such an arrangement, or you need us to draft legally binding contracts, contact us today to make sure your new family is as happy and healthy as possible. Or, schedule online.

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